My Trinity And Good Intentions (With Video)

I fully believe the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Of course, I’ve also always hoped the adage wasn’t referring to a literal hell. I just figured it was pretty obvious that we all get more than we bargain for when we try a little too hard.

Offer to help a neighbor recovering from surgery, and before you know it you’re mowing the lawn, painting the guest room and bathing an angry, angry dog. Want to aid an overwhelmed co-worker? You’ll be knee-deep in spreadsheets before you know it. And extending kindness to strangers? Let’s just say I’m always looking to hold a door open, not co-sign a loan.

If I don’t end up over my head, I tend to find myself "toned down." (When will I learn that the picture in my head rarely matches reality?) In fourth grade, I tried to convince our teacher we should hold an Easter egg hunt for the children of parents who were serving in the first Gulf War. We ended up making baskets out of milk cartons instead.

When I started this Volvo contest, I had the best of intentions. Knowing that I wasn’t a sports blogger, and therefore already about 30 yards behind the starting block, I figured I could come up with many witty, funny ways to show my love of Georgetown basketball.

In my life, I turn to my own holy trinity for most advice and guidance – Steel Magnolias, The Golden Girls and Designing Women. In addition to your run-of-the-mill problems – siblings, mothers and money – so much else can be found there.

Spanx or no Spanx? Wedding reception scene from Steel Magnolias.

Dating the blind? Blanche from The Golden Girls went through the very same thing.

An out-of-control photo shoot? Designing Women. (One must remember to never suck on pearls and expect to maintain one’s self-respect.)

If I can’t find the answer there, well, I just take a nap and figure that there might not be an easy answer, or I try to channel some Shirley MacLaine. (Terms of Endearment is also full of wisdom.)

So, naturally, when confronted with a sports challenge, I went straight to my ladies. I quickly remembered this scene from The Golden Girls when all of the women entered a dance contest.

Then, I thought to myself, “I can recreate this. And it will be hysterical.”

  

The trouble? I am ridiculous. (And should not ad lib.) The filming, producing and gymnastics are top notch, as is the great guy playing my coach. I'm the problem.  Who comes up with stuff like this when left to her own devices? (A gal who work from home with too much cable, that's who.) I'm so glad I no longer have dreams of being on camera.

But, like all the other bumps in the road that have come before this, I went back to my  Southern trinity for advice. I also remembered that theme video or not, most sports fans prefer stats to antics.

To quote Ouiser from Steel Magnolias when Clairee is trying out color commentary for her recently-purchased football team, “Clairee, This is football. All the people wanna hear about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn about that grape shit."

Comments

[short boots]

o here's my prediction of what's going to happen in the next few months: the US will succeed in getting the IAEA to vote to report Iran to the UNSC again.